- management@smallchangesmy.org
For many, love comes in the form of a warm cup of morning coffee, a Valentine’s gift, a goodnight’s kiss. To love another soul with all our heart has often been depicted, in touching stories and memorable songs, as the epitome of the meaning of life. While romantic love has always been greatly lauded, let us not forget another form of love much purer, more intimate and equally deserving of celebration, that of self love.
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Self love entails appreciating and being kind to oneself. Through forgiving and trusting ourselves, refraining from self-deprecation and setting boundaries for our needs, we ensure that our wellbeing is cared for, both physically and mentally.
However, reconciling with ourselves may sometimes seem like the toughest challenge. Between January 2019 to May 2021, UNICEF reported that teenagers aged between 5 to 18 made up 51% of the total 1,708 suicide cases recorded in Malaysia. When plans go astray and when expectations are met with disappointments, our instinctive reaction may be to shoulder the blame on ourselves.
“It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me,” – Anti-Hero, Taylor Swift
We feel unworthy, useless, as if everything is going wrong with our life.
It is understandable and perfectly normal to acknowledge our faults, but it is wrong to assume that that is all that we are made of – failures and incompetencies. During times of trials and tribulations, our pessimistic, self-deprecating thoughts are a never-ending whirlpool. These negative sentiments plant doubt within ourselves, which leads to anger and sadness, and then self-loathing, in a vicious cycle.
There is, however, a way to halt this spiral.
There is a lifebuoy waiting for us to cling on to.
There is still hope, if we give self love a chance.
Since songs have long been used as declarations of love, we present to you below, a melody of self love tips.
𝆕 𝄞 𝅘𝅥𝅯
“Cause I’m only human” – Human, Christina Perri
As we grow older, the responsibilities to be shouldered will increase, so too will expectations, both of others and of ourselves. Your parents expect perfect grades, your teachers expect stellar co-curricular involvement, your friends expect you to say ‘yes’ to all of their suggestions, you expect yourself to be better. However, it would be unfair if the expectations placed on yourself were meant for superheroes, because you are only human.
While it is important to try your best and challenge your limits, remember that failing is part of human nature and the challenges that come your way will enrich your life in one way or another. Make mistakes, lots of them, because the lessons they teach will be invaluable. As humans fall, so too can humans stand back up again.
“Let it go, let it go, and I’ll rise like the break of dawn” – Let it Go, Idina Menzel
Recognising and processing your fears and faults are essential in managing negativity and anxiety. Find a comfortable space to vent, be it through journaling, music or exercise, because only through acknowledging your own negative emotions will you be able to let them go. If you realise that some people in life radiate negative energy which affects you, be brave to let them go. If you feel suffocated in an environment that seems hostile and stressful, be bold to walk away.
Let go of negative instincts, including the urge to compare yourself with others. You may not be able to change the characteristics of those around you, but you can choose to walk away for the sake of your own wellbeing. It is not easy to adopt changes, but be brave in letting go.
“I found the greatest love of all, inside of me” – Greatest Love of All, Whitney Houston
In your life, you make the rules. Your wellbeing should always come first, because who should treat you with ultimate kindness if not yourself? When you feel suffocated by the hecticness, stop and take a slow morning stroll; when you feel consumed by worries, call a loved one; when you have obtained success, reward yourself with your favourite piece of cake; when you have failed, forgive yourself and move on.
They say love knows no boundaries, so too should self-love be infinite. There is no need to compare yourself with others for the sake of keeping up with the expectations of society, at the expense of your wellbeing. Remember to be kind to yourself whenever possible, it is always possible.
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This year, take the time to care for yourself.
Flash that vibrant smile in the mirror, because “you’re beautiful just the way you are” – Scars to Your Beautiful, Alessia Cara.
Hold your head high, because “there’s nothing wrong with loving who you are” – Born This Way, Lady Gaga.
Be strong, be confident, be yourself, “and you’ll finally see the truth, that a hero lies in you” – Hero, Mariah Carrey.
Written by: Jeslyn Chng
Designed by: Meor Danish
